There was an idea bouncing around in my head that finally made it on paper. There was also the intention to make notes on what I am doing while I am doing it. Another good plan that never connected to reality! I’m looking back in my sketchbook and can’t find anything definitive on the process, but here are some reflections now.

The idea started with a figure floating and face obscured. There were a few composition doodles in my sketchbook, tiny things that are hard to read but let out ideas, mostly so I felt more comfortable in going forward and might have other concepts to pull on later in the series. The details didn’t come out until the actual drawing.

Super fancy painting thumbnails

I started with a light drawing in pencil, to make sure the composition was right. Often I skip this step, and rush straight into using pen, because it’s more satisfying and there’s no room to question decisions. You just have to draw on experience and run with it, which makes it fresh but also means whether it works is a coin-flip.

But I wanted to make sure it worked out and hopefully was finished into something challenging and new, so this time the pen came after pencil. I let it stay loose and double over in some places, attempting to ride the line (hah) of feeling between certain and hazy. It’s an effort I didn’t consciously realize until reflecting on it afterwards.

Clothes would be distracting, but so would nudity. So, just the figure outline fading dark to light; the focal point is the head.

My second aim was the hair to be voluminous and fanciful, drifting upwards like fog, and obscuring both her from our sight and her from seeing us. Again, a feeling first and then words afterwards.

Getting there…

The golden halo was the final part and the only completely spontaneous part of the piece, which only came after trying to follow intuition instead of forcing it. The circle was supposed to be filled in with gold, but after placing the first circle sketch, it felt more appropriate to paint it in negative space while fading out.

I’m trying to learn to nurture that intuition instead of shoving it down and away. The interesting thing that I love from other artists is when they follow that inner concept without editing by wondering ‘what will other people think, what would they like to see?’

Something to hold on to from a book I’m reading: “living from an image of who you should be rather than who you are causes a great deal of suffering.” It’s always so easy to tell other people to follow, but so hard to apply to myself. But I’m trying 🙂

Do you follow who you ‘should’ be, or who you are?